Hot Hearted.

I’m the closest thing to a walking flame, I tell ya.  

 

I was Born on Tuesday December 21

Which means two things

1. I always get cheated out of birthday presents

 

And

2. I’m a Sagittarius

The fire sign

Whether or not you believe in it

I am suspiciously consistent in my arson of

things like

complacency

like

good things that come my way

like

the hearts of those I never intend to love

or

everything I’ve ever loved

 

See

What else has the power to bring an entire city back to its ashy knees

And regenerate an ancient forest in its place

 

I tell myself this has to be evidence of my good intentions

If I never meant to set you on fire in the first place

And you find yourself burning

Tomorrow

New life will being to show

in the parts of you

Only a woman like me could reach

I apply the only healing I trust…

Even if it hurts at first.

 


 

Conscious Men finding themselves chilly

love to ask questions they never actually want my answers to

Trying to set up the blueprint for how they will capture the heat of my spirit…

Like, how many stable relationships I’ve had

or

How many people I’ve actually slept with

 

But if a lady never tells,

Maybe they should ask

how many times I’ve set someone else on fire

Or

Set herself myself on fire for someone else

Or

Find myself alone burning quietly

 

Hands cuffed around my sensitive heart

The most shallow breathing

Coaxing life back into what’s been bruised again

Eyes closed, hiding

trying

to imagine  being something else

Something always desired

Or

Something harder to put out quickly

Or

Something easier to hold,

 

See the thing about fire…

 

If an open flame tries to escape

The confines we set for it

 

We contain it because we tell ourselves we have to

We remember good women are like water,

calm, cool, and collected where they are supposed to be

How droplets running down the side of drinking glasses look like tears

How we find that beautiful

 

So if I decide to be the flame that boils

To give in to the wild freedom of my heart

 

If I try to escape

The oppression that keeps me damp

 

The fire pits they make out of empty promises

 

Just to watch me burn pretty for them

at night

So they can ask me

to keep them

warm

in a cold world

 

While they decide

just how long they’re going to stay outside to see

me

 

Tell me that wildfires are dangerous

So I might become my own extinguisher

Something colder and cooler

Something closer to the stone

They keep in their pockets

 

But every candle

 

Has the potential to be a

 

Great

Chicago

Fire

 

And every firepit

 

Has to able to

stand the heat

Lest it

collapse

and endanger everything

 

Instead of finding strength to hold me safe,

They throw dirt on my name

 

Everytime I get a little bigger than they’re used to

 

A little hotter than they’re used to

 

They call me

reckless

wild

dangerous

 

They warn others,

show their friends their burns and

Their friends tell them

I told you so…

Don’t you know you’re not supposed to play with fire ….

 

And that girl

 

Is Hot

 

Like the cops are watching her house

 

Or like people are watching my every move

 

Just to see

 

If

 

I’ll

 

burn

 

My

 

self

 

out

.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s